Hire a Wedding Planner?

It sounds so wonderfully dreamy to delegate all the dirty work to someone else. Can you envision it? A chic lady will arrive on your doorstep, and in one fell swoop, she will find the perfect three-piece fusion jazz/funk/rock/hip-hop band that will both blow away the twentysomethings and appease the sixtysomethings; she will personally hand-address your invites; she will expertly mediate with both sets of parents; she will winningly prod your caterer to make exactly what you want for the same price as the low-budget pasta dish she was trying to pawn off; and then she will discreetly shampoo your carpet in her spare time. OK, it’s time to wake up and deal with the reality.

The best wedding planner is one part personal coach, one part contract negotiator, one part Best Friend Forever, one part fashion stylist, one part therapist, and one part researcher. You have to remember that you’re not hiring a personal assistant. You need to manage your expectations. What exactly can a wedding consultant or coordinator do for you? Here’s a realistic portrait of the tasks you can outsource in the best of all worlds:

The Detective Work: A good planner will know your local wedding industry like the back of her well-manicured hand. She’ll float into the best shops and be greeted with awe, respect, and special deals. A good planner can lead you to places you might not find in the phone book, bridal magazines, or the message boards you’ve been trolling for tips. She is clued in to the best secret services before you even make her acquaintance. Sure enough, the best of them act like a concierge at the Ritz; one fast flip through the old Rolodex reveals the perfect venue for you, and the contact information of the caterer who is listed nowhere.

The Dirty Work: Some of us couldn’t pay a high enough price just to have someone else read through the fine print. With weddings, there is plenty of it—because you will want to have contracts with all of your vendors, from the caterers to the florist. A planner, however demure he or she may appear, has plenty of stern looks behind that smile. To fight for your best interests and weed out any possible scam, she can go from sweet to scary in a matter of minutes. Bewildering contracts? No problem! Hidden add-on costs? Unearthed before you put your pen to the paper!

The Director’s Work: Coordinating a mass event is no minor feat; it requires someone with the skills of the most polished diplomat, and who can quietly but effectively make things happen while operating behind the scenes. With a wave of the hand, the flowers are delivered, the hairdresser is waiting when you arrive at the hotel, the band knows where to be and when and everyone’s lapel is perfectly crisp. The director frees you from all concern about even the smallest details, enabling you to focus solely on enjoying your big day, rather than on the fact that your bridesmaid’s dress is utterly wrinkled.

The Haggler’s Work: Although planners cost money, it can be argued that you will ultimately save more money using one than by not doing so. This is because a good planner will use her savvy and experience to negotiate the best deals for you. To start, a planner can help you come up with a budget that works for you, and then she can help you get the best prices to meet that budget. How? A well-connected planner knows instantly just who in the area is looking to promote his or her services or products and therefore may be willing to tack on booking incentives, like free upgrades or discounts. For example, she might be able to negotiate a free engagement photo from your photographer or an extra hour from your musicians.

The Therapist’s Work: A planner’s work is never done. When you find yourself meekly asking, “Is this normal?” you will have an ally who can tell you, “Yes, it is. Everyone feels frustrated, alienated, irritated, infuriated, or taken advantage of.” Let’s face it, you are Bride #4125 - so what may feel like a Crazy, Novel, Unique Experience is actually par for the course for this pro. That could be a good thing. Your last-minute zit? “Normal; try toothpaste,” she might suggest. Your mum’s last-minute freakout? “Normal; take a timeout and have tea to smooth things over,” she’ll offer. You start to freak yourself out: Is he the one? “Normal; have a romantic evening at home and rediscover why you’re doing this in the first place,” she’ll instruct.

 

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