One of the hardest things you will have to deal with when organising your wedding is deciding who to invite.  Guest lists are always difficult whether its friends who no longer speak or family members who are known to get a little merry.  That’s not to mention work colleagues and people’s children.  So what’s a good way to deal with a guest list?

You should compile your guest list as soon as you have set a date.  Think about your budget and how much you want to spend per head.  Think about how big your families are and how many friends you have.  Then using this information choose your venue and the access if the price is right.  If everything is fine, then you will be able to ask about the maximum amount of people allowed in the venue.

When it comes to weddings, immediate families are necessary – that means mum, dad and siblings.  Then remember grandparents, aunts, cousins and uncles get priority over friends.  Then it’s your close best friends – the bridesmaids, the best man.  Then it will be family friends and people your family want to invite not to mention their guests; your siblings, uncles, aunts and cousins need to be able to bring a guest along.  Then there are work colleagues (who may also be friends) but don’t feel obliged to invite too many along.

If you have family who live away in a foreign country for example you may know that they won’t attend but the gesture of an invitation is still kind. 

If you are short on invitations and space do you need to let your guests bring a friend?  Generally if your guest is married or is in a civil partnership they should be allowed to bring their other half but not necessarily their children.  Someone who is not married but is in a long term relationship should be allowed to bring a guest; someone who is casually dating does not. 

Just be polite if you turn down children – let the people know it’s because of space or budgetary requirements.  Some people won’t be able e to get childcare or will be unwilling to leave their kids.

Some people will just not be able to turn up so have a reserve list of people to invite just in case.  You can also split them up so that some guests go to the ceremony and some to the reception, the ceremony being for closest friends and family and the reception for everyone else.

When Billie Piper married Laurence Fox this year, there was some alleged controversy because the couple did not want children at their wedding.  The uncle of Laurence Fox was apparently so outraged that he didn’t attend the wedding at all.

To some people weddings are all about family and children but there are plenty of people who would rather not invite other peoples’ screaming babies and toddlers.  So what is the best way to deal with things if you don’t want kids at the event?

The first step is to note this request on the invitation.  Something polite about it being an adult’s event – if people call to check then you can confirm this.  You must also be fair and consistent – you can’t exclude one of your friend’s kids but let your best friend’s daughter come.  It will cause resentment if you don’t enforce the rule for everyone.

You can make an exception for your own children, nieces and nephews or your siblings if they are young.  However, make this clear that this is because they are family only.

What about if someone brings their kids anyway? Don’t be rude, accommodate them.  There can be lots of reasons; if someone forgets, or their childminder hasn’t turned up.  Ultimately you have to be flexible if someone has taken the time to come to your event.

However, if it is difficult for you to exclude kids altogether consider having a play area or crèche for them outside while you say your vows.  You can also get childminders and magicians, a clown or some kind of entertainment keeps them busy.  How about setting up a kid’s tea party area?  Give them all cameras too so they can take snaps of each other and have fun whilst you are busy getting things organised.  Make sure you have childminders watching over them at all time.

Also have a kids menu – children won’t want to eat your rich food and a kid’s menu should cost less too so serve pasta, chips, burgers and sandwiches with fruit juice to kids.  They could even eat in their own little area.

Whatever you decide, remember that you have to be happy but you also have to make the day as easy and fun as possible for your guests. Some guest may not be able to afford childcare or find it for the big day so may not come at all – consider all the pros and cons before you exclude kids.

No doubt the wedding invitations will be beautiful printed, checked for errors and have a snazzy hand picked design but it’s not that simple – wedding invitations like all formal invites have to follow certain etiquette.

Firstly, if you are marrying in peak season, then you should order some ‘save the date’ cards well in advance to let people know you are getting married on a certain day.  Closer to the date, around two months beforehand, send out your formal invitations.  Wording your invites politely means that you can keep things as civil and pleasant as possible.

If you are hosting the wedding yourselves put, ‘Sarah Smith and Joe Bloggs request the pleasure of your company for their marriage at…’

If the brides’ parent’s are hosting the wedding, then follow the format of, ‘Mr and Mrs Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter, Sarah, to Mr Joe Bloggs at [insert venue] on [insert date] at [insert time], then afterwards at [insert reception venue]. ‘  This applies if the bride’s parents are still married; if they are divorced and remarried, the begin the invitation with ‘Mr John Smith and Mrs Patrick Jones…’ in other words, using the bride’s new husbands name in lieu of her own.

If the bride’s mother hasn’t remarried, it can be worded is ‘Mr John Smith and Mrs Mary Cook…’  If however the bride’s mother has remarried and is holding the wedding alongside the step father, it should be worded as ‘Mr and Mrs Patrick Jones request the please of your company at the marriage of her daughter Sarah Smith’.

Remember to put the guests names, handwritten on the top left hand corner.  For family, you can put ‘ Mr and Mrs Clarke, Michael and Pam’ for example.

If you have any dress requirements remember to have this printed on your invitation (i.e., Black Tie in the bottom right hand corner).  Putting a RSVP card inside the envelope ensures a prompt response.

It is also fine to include a little note with the invitation regarding your gift list, stating ‘A gift list has been placed at…’ including the website address and the contact number as well you as any reference information.    Alternatively, they can contact the mother of the bride with enquiries about the gift list.

Wedding Invitations can be as simple or as complex as you want; just remember it will be the first time your guests hear about your happy day so you want to make an impact!

Having said hat, getting top notch invitations printed aren’t cheap.  Why not make your own; even if you have to make 100, once you have the materials and a little production line going it’s not that hard.  Here are some ideas on how to do it:

• Sketch your ideas!  Look at invitations on the internet and decide what you like.  Simple card with text? What font do you like? What colour paper or card? Do you like graphics? Maybe you like embellishments?  Don’t incorporate too many ideas, just decide on one or two you like the most.

• Nearly anything is doable with invitations when you make them yourself, except perhaps certainly gilded writing.  Otherwise you can print photographs, you can stick gems and embellishments, you can draw you can print etc.

• Choose your paper.  Cream or white is best or you can go for a statement colour like red or black (but think about how you will get the font to show).  Choose good quality thick card which can be bought from WHSmith, Paperchase, Hobbycraft, John Lewis, The Paper Mill etc.  You can buy a postcard design or a card, or plain card you cut or fold yourself.  Don’t forget the envelopes.

• Buy tools.  Pencils are handy for designing but buy a set of nice pens in luxury colours like gold and silver. Think about a calligraphy pen too. However – this depends on how many you want to do.  20 invitations can be hand decorated and written on, 300 may be a challenge so you may want to go for something printed.

• Glue pens!  Use a strong adhesive in a pen form to glue gems and flowers on).

• Nice embellishments include ribbon, beads, glitter, dry small flowers, coloured sand, gems, and bows.

• Wedding stickers are available from online stores (check eBay) and Hobbycraft.

• Create a nice area for working.  Get help if necessary and keep the production line going!

• Remember to not make anything too bulky as it has to fit in the envelope.  Remember that Royal Mail now have a new system whereby anything too thick will cost more to send.

Daughters, sons, nieces, nephews, godchildren – the chances are your wedding guest list will include a few little people.  The high street has plenty of cute and wedding appropriate clothing for little girls and boys as well as babies.  Unlike with adult clothes, fitting is not normally an issue so you can buy with confidence!

Having said that, what are the chances of all the mum’s heading to Marks and Spencer’s and Next for the same kind of wedding outfits for their tots?  Probably quite likely.  So here’s a list of some more unusual places to look for the right outfit for your child. 

French catalogue Vertbaudet have a large selection of children’s occasion wear that looks clean and fresh, ready for accessorizing with bows and ribbons.  Sets start from around £16 and go up in price according to age.  La Redoute, another French catalogue also has a selection of formal wear for boys and girls – the emphasis again is on a clean, elegant look.  Both catalogues have very reasonable prices, so it’s worth a look if you are on a budget or have lots of kids to dress.

If you prefer something more formal and grand, check out Little Eglatine (also the work of a French designer, Setphanie Strub).  The clothes are formal without being pompous or over done and there are interesting sets for boys, that include a shiny, cummerbund and silk shorts.  Prices are reasonable; around £70-100 for an outfit (age dependent).

Another online store worth checking out is Little Gems Boutique.  A full 4 piece boy’s suit (a shirt, tie, waistcoat and trousers) can be bought for £29.99 and formal silk dresses retail for around £51.  There is a nice varied selection of gowns not to mention accessories.

Remember, comfort is very important to children, and make sure that it’s functional too – if your child is still in nappies then you need to be able to get it!  There’s usually no need to spend a huge amount of money; children will spill food and they will roll on the floor and grass if given the opportunity! Remember to keep your children warm too with a cardigan, shawl or jacket and don’t forget to take a comfortable outfit for the journey home.

www.vertbaudet.co.uk
www.laredoute.co.uk
www.littleeglantine.com
www.littlegemsboutique.co.uk